Sunday, June 28, 2026

Alexa Succeeds Where I Can't (Behavioral Science)

Thinking about "task interruption" and "transition warning" and "neutral third-party" and "unconscious conditioning" I've stumbled onto something that's been really helpful with our non-verbal child.

 

There will be times when he needs a diaper change but doesn't want a change.  If I'm pretty sure he needs one but I ask him and he says no, I'll ask "do you need a timer?" and he'll respond affirmatively.

 

I'll say "Alexa, set a timer for x" where x is anywhere from 2 minutes all the way down to 2 seconds, depending on what his mood looks like, it he needs a cooldown or if he's already 99% ready to go.

 

When the timer goes off, he often hops right up and goes to his room. Sometimes I'll have to point out the timer has gone off, but then he's compliant and we'll go in and get the diaper taken care of. But because it's not me making the demand but Alexa, he can't fight or protest. (And he knows Alexa will just keep sounding the alarm without getting tired until we turn it off.)

 

(When we were recently on vacation, I didn't have Alexa and I had to mimic the Alexa voice and the doo doo doo sound myself but it still worked.)

Wednesday, July 20, 2011

The Chain Reaction

Rachel went to sleep around 7:30, woke up at 10:30 pm and then apparently stayed up all night long working on her play.  So today, she's having a little trouble.  She just bumped something and said "Ow.  (pause)  I know.  I didn't sleep enough so I'm tired.  And that makes me cranky and hurt myself.  And that makes me act like a little girl.  Which makes you treat me like a little girl.  That's the 'Little Girl Chain Reaction.'"

That is exciting progress to witness.

Thursday, June 23, 2011

Parents Magazine - June 2011

cross-posting on tvjames x blog

I've always intended to read Parents magazine when it arrives (we've subscribed for years), but it usually just ends up on my wife's nightstand and I never get to it. But this time, I left it in my car until I had time to read it. It is obviously aimed at women, from the articles to the advertising.

I don't think they'd show as many ads with women wearing almost nothing if they thought men were reading the magazine. I think more men would read the magazine if they knew how much skin was shown.

The magazine also has a really annoying habit of starting articles on the left side of a page with an ad on the right. I think the whole design of the magazine is to make it as difficult as possible to determine what's an ad and what's content. On one hand, shame on you. On the other, well-played.

I read it rather quickly in one afternoon and here's the stuff that stood out to me.

Raise a Kid Who Gives -- Is this really worth it? I wondered, as I directed my girls -- Drew, 3, and Blair, 5 -- to carry the unwrapped present we were donating to a needy child their preschool had chosen to help last December. Even though I had explained the situation to them a bunch of times, they still didn't seem to get why they couldn't keep the toy. Read more...

Little Big Fan - an article about a guy who has to start paying attention to sports because his son is interested in sports. Sadly, apparently not available to read online.

A Wall of Silence - about why Post-Partum Depression should be taken seriously -- and not be something that's considered shameful or a failure if you're suffering from. Again, apparently not available online. Lame.

Odds and Ends

The always good reminder of securing your ladders -- and what happened to a child when a parent didn't.

Why kids shouldn't take a sip of water after spitting while brushing their teeth. (Dilutes the fluoride.)

Teaching gratitude early - one mom had recorded her 3-year-old thanking people for his birthday gifts and loaded each as a YouTube video and emailed the link to the gift-givers.

Ha - Even if you breastfeed exclusively, pump and let your husband help - just because you made the meal doesn't mean you have to serve it.

Why kids will eat something at school but not at home - at school they see their friends eating them, but at home, their family members aren't. So if you want him to eat carrot sticks, don't pressure him to, just put them on his plate and yours, too.

Books - I requested these from the library for our daughter.

* Iggy Peck, Architect (Andrea Beaty)
* The Dot (Peter Reynolds)

While most of the magazine isn't actually online, you can read more of the articles from that issue here.

Wednesday, June 22, 2011

Who's Snowing Who Here?

In April, Rachel asked about the Easter Bunny.  She seemed to really want to know if we were the ones who filled her basket.  I told her that yes, Mommy & Daddy fill her Easter basket every year.  I expected that to be the beginning of a snowball effect where the true identities of Santa Claus and the Tooth Fairy came out, too, but she dropped it after confirming the secret identity of just the Bunny.

Today we were on our way to a dental checkup for her when the following conversation occurred:

Rachel: (wiggling her tooth) I'm trying to get my tooth to fall out faster so the Tooth Fairy will come.  You know what I think?  I think you're the Tooth Fairy.  Daddy told me that you two are the Easter Bunny, and I think you're the Tooth Fairy.  (leaning forward) Are you?
Me: Yes, I'm the Tooth Fairy.
Rachel:  Are you guys Cupid?
Me: Yes, we're Cupid.
Rachel:  You're the Easter Bunny, the Tooth Fairy and Cupid.  Everyone but Santa Claus.

Uh, what?  I'm trying to decide if she really does think that Santa Claus is the only genuine holiday character and we only pretend to be the others, or if she enjoys believing in Santa so much that she's purposely denying that he doesn't exist.  Or, option 3 - she realizes that if Santa doesn't exist, Santa gifts don't appear on Christmas morning in addition to the gifts from Mommy & Daddy.

I don't think she's crafty enough to have figured that out so quickly, unless this is something she's been thinking about for a while.  But even then, I don't think she would purposely pretend to be clueless just for the extra gifts.

Still, it makes one wonder.

Friday, June 10, 2011

Loob You

It has been far too long since I've posted on this blog.  I've done a few posts on my own blog since I last wrote something here, but I just haven't been keeping up with blogging for a while now.  Life has been overwhelming, and when I have free time, I don't necessarily think "I should write a blog post."

But this needed to be recorded.  Today I was playing in the living room with Ben, and we were cuddling on the floor, and I said "I love you."  And he said back "Loob you."  Ben turned 3 last month, and that's the first time he's said I love you back to either of us, and in such a recognizable way, too.  It was incredible!

Ben has been diagnosed with PDD-NOS, an autism spectrum disorder.  It basically means that he has some autistic characteristics, but not severely enough to be called autistic at this point.  He could go either way, depending upon his development, going further towards being diagnosed as autistic or becoming more caught up with his peers.  But he is delayed in so many areas that I think it's more likely that this will be something we're dealing with over the long haul.

So we're learning to celebrate all the little wins and every step of progress he makes.  Each time he says a new word really well, it's exciting!  And when he goes to his developmental preschool program, and he walks away from me without fussing and goes and sits in his own chair for reading time, and flips open his little book, it's awesome, and he makes me proud.

We're fortunate in that Ben has always been very loving and affectionate.  He expresses his love for us all the time in giving us great hugs, squeezing us like he never wants to let go.  Less frequently, he gives us kisses, too.

But it was so neat to actually hear him verbalize that love.  In fact, when I put him down for nap time, I told him again that I love him, and he said "I lub you."  Just melted my heart!

I lub you, too, Ben.

Wednesday, April 27, 2011

Watch This

Saturday, April 02, 2011

Cameron Herold: Let's raise kids to be entrepreneurs

Saturday, February 05, 2011

Heartwarming

In the fictional novel The Clowns of God by Morris West, Jesus comes back to earth, and some people think it’s Him while some don’t. At one point, Jesus is at a school for children with Down syndrome, and He is holding a little girl. Jesus says:
I know what you are thinking. You need a sign. What better one could I give but to make this little one whole and new? I could do it, but I will not.

Sunday, November 28, 2010

Hmmm...

Our children are Rachel and Ben. From the bible, or characters connected to Ross on Friends? If we have a third child named Joseph, you still won't know.

Wednesday, November 17, 2010

Milking It

Rachel apparently forgot to get a milk with her lunch at school. So what did she do? She didn't go back and ask for her forgotten milk.

No, she shouted "Someone bring me a milk!" and in no time flat another student surrendered their milk.

Sunday, August 01, 2010

Philip Johnny Bob and Delores 2

Rachel's asked that we make sure everyone knows that the gray elephant formerly named Philip Johnny Bob has a new name. Her name is now Ella. (As an aside, Rachel and I gave my brother a similar elephant a few years ago when he was teaching fourth grade so that he could go on WebKinz and see what all the kids were talking about. And if you know my brother, you'll appreciate this even more -- he named his elephant "Tusken.")

And from the I-Can't-Believe-This-Worked file, tonight Rachel was in bed and had Delores, I could hear a constant stream of squeaks coming from her room. I went up there and asked her to tell Delores not to be naughty and keep Rachel awake, because if she did, she was going to have to sleep on the top bunk, instead of down on the bottom bunk with Rachel. I hear Rachel dutifully instructing Delores and I haven't heard a squeak since.

Tuesday, July 20, 2010

Dinner Conversation

"Dad, you want to know what's weird about [friend]?"
"No, not really."
"Why not?"
"It's not nice. You wouldn't like it if [friend] was telling her ads what was weird about you."

Now... It's either knowing our how our daughter's mind works, or maybe it's all children at this age, but we had a split-second to anticipate what was coming next, but not long enough to steel ourselves (or maybe we knew what was coming and didn't want to steel ourselves.)

She got a puzzled look on her face and said "But there's nothing weird about me."

To which we burst out laughing.

She looked perturbed and exasperated and gave her mom - sitting next to her at the dinner table - a cute elbow in the arm in protest.

Monday, July 19, 2010

Chores and Responsibilities

Cross posting on Dad2Be and tvjames x blog.

A friend from work described this to me, so we've been working towards it for some time now. We're finally hitting the next big phase, so I thought I'd describe the process we're using for getting children involved in helping around the house.

The premise boils down to two distinct and different sets of tasks: Responsibilities and Chores.

Responsibilities

These are day-of-the-week specific tasks assigned to a specific child. They start out simple and progress with complexity and number of tasks per day as the child gets older and more able to help. These tasks are unpaid - they are responsibilities, things that are expected of the child as a member of the family, their way of helping out.

In the beginning, the child has only responsibilities. There is a carrot - something that they want to do. For Rachel, it's television/computer-time. In order to get to watch TV or play on the computer, she must first complete her responsibilities. And since we don't allow "screen time" after dinner in our house (except for movie nights), she has incentive to get them done early as that means more time for what she wants to do. (There is also a limit on how much screen time she can have - no getting up at 5 am and doing everything and then watching TV for 12 hours.

Currently, her responsibilities include things like:
* Make bed (before lunch) - six days a week
* Take down laundry to laundry room (before lunch) - daily
* Empty bathroom garbage (before dinner) - twice a week
* Remove sheets from bed and take to laundry room (before lunch) - Saturday
* Bath or shower (before dinner) - three times a week (don't worry, she has extras when she needs them. It might be four to start with, can't recall.)
* Put away any folded laundry - a few times a week

Currently there's 4-5 tasks each day.

In order to watch TV or play on the computer, the responsibilities must be done. In the case of ones required before lunch, they may be done after lunch but before screen time. There are a few exceptions, where we may decide to do her bath after dinner, in which case, she still gets to do screen time, but she's very aware that there will be a bath later in her immediate future.

The "before lunch" requirements are new, and they play into the chores.

Chores

Chores are non-child specific in most cases, except where skill level exceeds the younger children. Right now, only Rachel has chores and responsibilities. They are to be completed on specific days. They are paid. But, you can only do chores if you've completed that day's responsibilities.

Some chores include:
* Pull 25 weeds - a few times a week
* Help with dishwasher - a few times a week
* Sort laundry - a few times a week (the laundry goes into large bins by person, but then it needs to be sorted, folded and put away)
* Set table for dinner - daily
* Clear table after dinner - six nights a week (not Saturday)

There are a fixed number of chores, and as more children get to the age where they can do chores, there will be some competition as to who can get their responsibilities done first and move on to the paid chores.

Currently, there's 4-7 opportunities each day to make money. We're still working out the relative value of each. Most are 5 cents, then 10 cents and a few worth a quarter. Saturday is very light on responsibilities and very heavy on chores. It's a great way to rack up the cash at the end of the week.

Right now, there is $3.65 cents worth of chores on the list. If she completes all of them (that means all responsibilities and all chores), she gets paid double and she receives a marble. Marbles are from a different behavior penalty/reward system borrowed from SuperNanny and accrue towards ice cream at Dairy Queen.

I can picture once-a-month chores like washing the car or quarterly chores like Lysol-ing door handles and light switches, but those are obviously too challenging at this point.

But even if we are supervising her work, it does allow us to do other things and it is encouraging to see her helping out. She is so far hot and cold on the whole thing, so we'll see what happens when she's competing with Ben for chores and money.

The Chart

There are two charts on the refrigerator. One identifies the responsibilities, the other the chores. We cross off each responsibility as its completed. If she completes a chore, we circle the payout. If the day ends with chores incomplete, we cross off the payout.

Eventually Ben will have his own responsibilities chart as well.

Payday

On Saturdays, before dinner, it's payday. We count up all the chores completed that week, and we divide into three groups - 10% her to church and put in the offering, 40% for long-term savings (we hang on to, to later put in the bank for her) and 50% she gets in her little hands to take upstairs to put in her piggy bank. Last week was her first week (and a partial week at that), and I paid in pennies, so I'll probably need to buy a few rolls of pennies, and some larger coins if she gets hooked on it. After I had the three piles of coins in front of her, I put in enough extra pennies to round each one up to the nearest 5 cents.

This wasn't a big math lesson yet (I breezed through the percentages), but hopefully there'll be some in that as well as we go along.

Allowance

We have, since birth, given each child a $20/month allowance as an automatic transfer from our checking account to their savings account. At some point, we may revisit how that works, but right now from time-to-time, Rachel may ask for something at the store. If we think it's ok, then she is allowed to have it and we transfer money back out of her savings account and into our checking account to cover it.

Credit

This is not my idea, I got it from a friend at work who had attended a money seminar at his church and learned of it there.

Saturday, July 17, 2010

Philip Johnny Bob and Delores

In addition to "Polar Bear" (aka "Pohlie") Rachel's recently grown very attached to two of her other stuffed animals - a WebKinz elephant she's named "Philip Johnny Bob" and a little infant pink security blanket (maybe 6-7" square with a little pink bear head that squeaks in the center) named "Delores."

Not sure why. But calling either of them by the wrong names (especially Philip Johnny Bob, just because it's fun) sets her off on a stern warning to us about their correct names and she gets indignant that we seem to be unable to remember them. (And forget about calling her Rachel Johnny Bob.)

And I just heard her telling Lori that Philip Johnny Bob is a girl.

Monday, May 17, 2010

A Conversation With Rachel

Rachel will often express her love for me in over-the-top terms. Tonight she was in the midst of doing that, and here was our conversation.

Rachel: "I love you so so so much, and I think you're the best person in the world. {whispered} Even though you're a little crabby sometimes."
Me: "Well, thank you. I love you, too. I've worked on that and I think I've gotten a lot better, but I'll keep working on it."
Rachel: "Okay. Good luck with that!"

Friday, May 14, 2010

"Angy!"

Apparently Ben knows what "angry" means. He was being so cranky and fussy this morning, especially after he and I got back from dropping Rachel off at school. He kept asking for crackers, even though I was sure he'd had enough to eat. I think eating is one of his coping mechanisms to deal with feeling frustrated, especially since he's too young to know why. (Plus I still do that, and I'm old enough to know better.)

He asked for applesauce, and since he hadn't had much fruit yet, I was happy to put him into his high chair and get some out. But then when I had the applesauce ready on a spoon, he didn't want it. He'd keep saying "Applesauce!" but turning his head away when I tried to give some to him, so I'm not sure what he was actually wanting.

I got him back down, and he just walked around, looking for something to get into or bang on and fussing and wailing. I said "Are you angry and frustrated?" and he said "Angy! Angy!" I played with him for a little while and he was okay then, but if he didn't have my direct attention, he'd start fussing and looking for trouble.

That's a typical thing for him when he's getting tired and in need of a mid-morning break. Since he's outgrown morning naps, I sometimes take him upstairs and put him in his crib for a rest time, to give him a chance to wind down and give myself a break from the fussiness, and that has worked beautifully.

So this morning, I picked him up and told him "I think it's time for a rest," and as I carried him upstairs, crossways in my arms, he said "Angy!" The boy definitely knows what that means, but I'm glad that he was able to express it with a word, because I think that helped. And after his rest time, he was a much cheerier little guy, laughing and playing and singing along with me and making animals sounds.

I'm hoping for a really good nap today. I have a dish to make for our small group and Ben's birthday cake to bake so that I can decorate it tomorrow for his party on Sunday.

And now I'm feeling like a slacker parent because I haven't blogged anything about him turning 2. *sigh*

Tuesday, May 11, 2010

The Logic of a Child

Boy, parenting is a challenge. At Rachel's school, there's a thing called the "Think Chair" A student needs to sit in that chair to think about what they've done if they've been disobedient. Lately, apparently that's not been enough and a number of students have also found themselves missing recess.

That was Rachel the last two weeks, a number of think chair moments and missed recesses. The most recent parenting course -- the one that isn't "God's Way" (dun dun dun) -- says a problem and its correction (if correction occurs) stays where it happened. That is, we don't repunish when she gets home. But, we've still talked to her because it didn't seem like it was actually working. And after that, the next day Lori got a thumb's up from the teacher when she went to pick up Rachel. There were some good days.

Until today.

Apparently today Rachel colored all over her hands with the markers. This is something she's been talked to before. Who knows if it's a big deal in the grand scheme of things or not. Maybe it leads to coloring of other things like library books or desks or other students' clothes. I dunno. Either way, it's the rule of the classroom that you don't do that. When in Rome... So, yeah, she got to go to the Think Chair and lost her use of colored pens for the rest of the week. What she did next, in her anger, was much worse. I'm not sure how Lori found out about it, but I'm guessing it was a phone call home.

Needless to say, all the pens went away here at home as well. The incident unmentioned didn't involve pens, but it was obvious that leaving something like this at school really didn't make sense because at the heart of it, it's about disobedience and a lack of respect for authority. They also say "She's only five. She doesn't fully have logic figured out yet." I digress briefly as we wavy-screen-it back to a conversation we had a few months ago.

I don't know how to type the sound Wayne and Garth would make as they went back to something in the past, so, ummm... ~~~~~

(paraphrasing - I can't stop to look it up or I will get dinged for the "distraction" if I slow down or stop my writing. If I go under 55 words a minute the computer blows up)
Me: I'm going to need to take money from your account to pay for the lamp you broke.
Rachel: Well, I'm going to take all your money.
Me: You can't. It's not here. It's at the bank.
Rachel: Well, I'm going to go online and I'm going to get it all.
Me: You can't.
Rachel: I'm going to watch you when you go online and I'm going to get your password. I'm going to watch you all the time until I have your password.

~~~~~~~

So when they say that her logic isn't fully formed, that's a headscratcher to me. I mean, yeah, she's got her plan for how to fraudulently steal her own college money (there isn't much) but she doesn't realize that there are consequences for things.

I cannot tell you how many books I've taken away tonight. And I hate taking away books. But the little bookworm will not stop reading. She smuggles them into bed, she smuggles them into the bathroom, she will read them instead of doing just about anything we ask her to do. So I take them.

Fortunately, she's stopped throwing stuff at home. Because if she throws something that belongs to her, it's gone. For good. Until she flips that back around on me and starts throwing stuff she doesn't care about.

She's incredibly smart.

It's just going to be a challenge to channel that energy into positive things. I will give her credit, she's been extremely passive when her little brother's been aggressive. He seems to get moreso when he's sleepy, biting and scratching and pinching, but just in general, he's a little boy and he plays hard. Banging, headbutting, being loud, he plays hard. And when he's mean to her, she may protest, but she doesn't respond in kind. That is actually quite heart-warming. On the other hand, when she starts protesting, we do have to point out that if she weren't laying on the floor (that's what I was doing when he clocked me in the mouth the other day with something and drew blood) he wouldn't pull her hair or flop on her back. So she's not usually physically aggressive, which is great, but there's going to need to be a lot of work done to help her to cope with anger wisely, and to get back to being obedient and respectful.

I don't want this to seem all doom and gloom. Prayer is always appreciated, but this is not one of those "wit's end" situations thankfully.

(cross-posted from my blog http://tvjames.blogspot.com/ )

Saturday, April 10, 2010

26 Minutes

11:46 AM me: UGGGGHHHHHH. So tired of her attitude. She needs to go to kindergarten boot camp.


That was the beginning of an IM conversation between me and James yesterday. Rachel got it into her head that she wanted to go to the Spring Fair in a nearby town. When told we weren’t going to do that but that we could probably go to the County Fair later in the year, she decided she’d rather act nasty and throw a fit.


It’s a pattern that keeps cropping up, but less frequently and with less severity than in the past. I think it’s something that she’s outgrowing, as her ability to exercise self-control catches up with her strong emotions. I’m encouraged that it doesn’t manifest itself physically like it used to, with kicking and spitting and hitting, as well as by the fact that most days she does pretty well. There was a time when every day seemed to bring some kind of mean-spirited outburst.


I got her to her room for some bedroom time, and that seemed to help reset things. I talked with her a little after she came out about how I wanted to have a great afternoon, and how I wanted to enjoy our planned movie night in the evening, but how neither of those would happen if she didn’t decide to have a better attitude. I asked for a hug, and she asked if she could finish her drawing first and then give me one, to which I said yes.


We talked about lunch and she agreed that a grilled cheese sandwich sounded good. I started to get things out and prepare the sandwich, and then remembered before starting to grill it that I hadn’t gotten my hug. I asked her for one, and she ran to me and gave me such a long, tight hug that I thought it might never end!


She said "I feel like I'm never going to stop hugging you!" And I said "This is really nice, but how will I make your sandwich if you don't stop hugging me?" and she said "I love you more than a sandwich, Mom!"


I reported that to James over IM, and this was his reply:

12:14 PM James: 26 minutes between your "UGGGGHHH" IM and that one where she loves you more than a sandwich.

12:15 PM me: :)


It’s interesting how quickly the emotions change at this age! Sometimes it’s frustrating, but moments like these are encouragements.

Rachel's List

Rachel recently heard a song and asked me to add it to her list. Turns out that Lori started a simple playlist in iTunes for Rachel and when Rachel hears a song she likes, she asks Lori to put it in her playlist. Rachel's never asked me to play her playlist, but I put it on just now since she's eating lunch and I'm about to go outside and work in the yard and Lori's upstairs cleaning and watching LOTR.

Surprisingly, Rachel's list only contains 29 songs so far and a number of them are Christmas songs (so they won't even play right now). But, it is an interesting list.

Deck the Halls (instrumental) - Garritan Volume 4
I Can Be Your Friend - Veggie Tales (Silly Songs for Rachel)
Zacchaeus - Various Artists (Play a Little)
Instrumental Christmas Sing Along - Twin Sisters Productions (Santa Songs)
Get'cha Head In The Game - Troy (High School Musical)
Life is a Highway - Tom Cochrane (Mad Mad World)
Christmastime Is Here - Sixpence None The Richer (WOW Christmas)
What I've Been Looking For - Sharpay and Ryan (High School Musical)
I Want You - Savage Garden (Savage Garden)
Toy Packaging - Sara Groves (O Holy Night)
Angels We Have Heard On High - Sara Groves (O Holy Night)
Different Kinds of Happy - Sara Groves (Fireflies and Songs)
When Love Came Down - Point of Grace (Now That's What I Call Christmas!)
Home for the Holidays - Perry Como (Now That's What I Call Christmas!)
God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen (instrumental) - Pat Azzarello - Garritan Volume 5
How Long Will Be Too Long - Michael W. Smith (Go West Young Man)
Let Everything That Has Breath - Matt Redman (Worship Together - Be Glorified)
I Do - Lisa Loeb (Firecracker)
I Am - Jill Phillips (WOW 2000)
A Wink And A Smile - Harry Connick, Jr. (Sleepless In Seattle)
Let's Go To Vegas - Faith Hill (It Matters To Me)
Come Go With Me - Expose (Exposure)
God's Got a Plan - Elizabeth Cook (Hey Y'All)
Because You First Loved Me - Children's Choir (Let the Children Praise HIM)
Everyday - Boddy Holly (Greatest Hits)
You Can Fly! You Can Fly! You Can Fly! - Various Artists (Classic Disney, Volume 1)
I Want To Hold Your Hand - The Beatles - 1
Jingle Bells - Barenaked Ladies (Barenaked For The Holidays)
Joy To The World - Anne Murray (Christmas Wishes)

On an unrelated note, I'd like to know who's been letting Rachel watch Saturday Night Live. She's picked up "Oh My Goodness" as if she were channeling Tina Fey channeling Sarah Palin.

Thursday, April 08, 2010

A Conversation With Ben

3 nights ago, I had what I would call my first conversation with Ben. He's been spare with his words. Don't take that to mean that he's been quiet by any means. But he'll use a word for a while, then store it away as if he's done with it. Some words he's continued to use (Dada, Mama, Bath, Milk, Cracker, etc.), and others he used for a time and then is apparently done with them for now (Banana, More).

I suspect that he's both shy and stubborn. His shyness keeps him from trying words until he builds up a little confidence that he can get it right within a few tries. His stubbornness means he would rather screech or just keep saying "Milk! Milk!" when he wants something and doesn't know its name, or doesn't want to try saying it. But he loves imitating sounds he hears and sometimes surprises us, like when James answered "I don't know" and Ben repeated "I dohn-know." That's a phrase that he's actually been using semi-regularly, and often when it fits as an answer for a question we've asked him. So I have no doubt that he's capable of being more verbal and that we'll be seeing much more of that soon.

But I digress - 3 nights ago, I went in to check on him at about 10:00. I peeked in the door and didn't see or hear anything, so I figured he was asleep. But no - "Doo doo doo," he said, standing up and reaching for me. I picked him up.

Ben: Milk?
Me: No, I don't think you need milk. You need to go back to sleep, baby.
Ben: Cracker?
Me: No, you don't need crackers, silly. You need sleep.
Ben: Crunchies?
Me: No, no crunchies. You need to go back to bed, and Mama needs to take a shower.
Ben: Bath?

I loved how he kept coming up with different angles, not getting upset when I was saying no. And I figured he must actually be hungry if he was that persistent, so he did get to sit in his highchair and have some milk and something to eat before going back to bed.

He was up late the next night, too, asking for milk. I think he must be having a growth spurt. He also seems to be teething, since he's drooling like a champ and has been a little fussy at times, picking at some of his meals.

And he is apparently experiencing separation anxiety. He's quite unhappy most of the time when being put to bed either for a nap or at night, getting really upset and crying and reaching for me. It didn't used to be such a big deal. He'd fuss a little, but not sound like he felt he was being abandoned as he does now. And leaving him in the nursery at church brings much screeching, too, although it dies down pretty quickly once we're gone.

Rachel went through separation anxiety a few times, but it was always over in about a week. I think Ben's been going through it for a few weeks but am not sure when it started. I'm hopeful he'll work through it quickly, though.