Sunday, December 05, 2004

If they could just stay little

I don't know how it is for her mom, but I struggle constantly wishing Rachel could walk/talk/eat solid foods/play N64, but at the same time, wishing she would always stay tiny, have the cute little crew cut and be tiny enough to dance on my stomach. I hope that doesn't make me discontent, or unappreciative of this amazing little creature. Her wonderment, her simple joy, the way she lights up my life is just amazing. Why would I possibly want her to change? I guess it's a desire to share, to teach, to impart. And maybe some of that comes from her inherent desire to explore her world... to see her reach for the keyboard as I type, to see her frustration when she wants to communicate with us but we're just not understanding what she wants to tell us.

But one reason I wish she could always stay little comes from what we were reading last night.

Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs that it may benefit those who listen. -- Ephesians 4:29

As she grows and begins to be able to converse with us, will her sweet nature continue to compell us to be sweeter, or will my negative attitudes and cutting wit wear off on her? Will she be calling other drivers bastards or shouting "Go back to Georgia" when she sees an out of state license plate? Or will we be saying "Honey, look at those flowers growing alongside the freeway!"

The clock is ticking...

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